Hello, bridge pals. It’s Monday, and here at Bridge, Out Ahead that means we do a bit more work to set up the deals.
As with last Monday’s deals, this week’s are based on the wonderful book Why You Lose at Bridge by S.J. Simon. It is based on the deal described on page 106 of the first edition, 4th printing of that book. That page is in Chapter 10, which is titled, “Fixed—By Palookas!” I find the terminology charming in several ways. First, Simon uses “fixed” the way we use “set” today, though I’m sure there are probably many who might still say “fixed.” I like to imagine the next time I get set at the table, and I sit back and say in my best Cagney voice, “You fixed me, see? You fixed me good…you dirty rats!” Would that draw a chuckle, or would it earn me a complaint in these Zero Tolerance times? Maybe the words alone would not draw a complaint, but if I followed them up by jumping up and spraying the room, Cagney style, with finger machine-guns before falling to the floor…
The other charming thing is the term “palookas.” The word palooka means an athlete, especially a boxer, lacking in ability, experience, or competitive spirit. You may know of the prototypical such person, Joe Palooka, from the comic strip and associated films. More generally, it means a stupid or clumsy person. The Joe Palooka comic strip started in 1930, so the word was probably in common, non-ironic usage throughout the 1930’s and 1940’s when Simon was active in bridge. You fixed me, see, you dirty palooka!
That’s all well and good, but it gives the reader pause to wonder: is Simon unkind in this chapter? Not at all! It is clear from the text that he is merely referring to the phenomenon of superior players getting fixed—or set—by players of lesser ability, but he is not using the word in the more pejorative sense.
In fact, a chapter about how some players might be stupid would not be fun at all. If I want to learn about stupid play, live, all I have to do is watch myself stumble around carelessly on BBO or at the club. No, what Simon does in this chapter is describe how the presence of less experienced players—palookas—can affect the play of non-palookas.
And so in today’s deal, the way Simon presents it is with East/West as two strong players, West is the dealer, Simon is South, and North is the palooka. He doesn’t state who is vulnerable, but never fear: our generated deals give it to you with all sixteen variations on dealer and vulnerability. As described by Simon, the bidding goes pass-(pass)-1D-(1H)-1S-(2H)-pass-(3H)-pass-(pass)-4C-(pass)-pass-(double)-pass-(pass)-pass. Aside from E/W’s opening bid, Simon describes the pair’s bidding as desperation due to having lost earlier hands to him and the palooka. He says that their eventual 4C contract might not be bad given a reasonable club distribution, but the actual 4-0 clubs in N/S’s hands ruined E/W’s chances and they got set—er, fixed.
Fixed, I say, by palookas.
I read and hear a lot about how you should approach each deal fresh, without obsessing over earlier triumphs or tragedies. But a lot of Simon’s books is about the psychology of bridge, and the fact is a lot of players can’t just flip a switch and return to super-rationality after a bad run of play. How are you at maintaining your composure, whether you have been bested by great players or mere palookas?
Here now are the 16 variations on Simon’s deal. Note that the only cards that remain the same for each deal are the ones that were exactly specified by me in the setup at the top of this blog post. The exes and blanks are filled in randomly. Note how specifying clubs in three hands with a combination of specific cards and exes used up all 13 clubs, guaranteeing that South would be void in clubs (this techno-note is for those of you who dare to try to use the manual deal setter-upper yourselves).
Ok, for real now, the deals:
The sixteen deals in PBN format.
The sixteen deals in LIN format.